


Attack!

by flashforeward



Category: Eerie Indiana
Genre: Dungeons & Dragons, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 18:14:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5343722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flashforeward/pseuds/flashforeward
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simon suffers through another session of D&D</p>
            </blockquote>





	Attack!

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Eerie advent calender. Prompt: the darkness

"For the thousandth time you can't attack the darkness!" Marshall shouted across the table at Dash. Simon pressed his hands harder against his eyes, trying to wish the scene before him away even as he heard Janet Donner, sitting on his left, start laughing.

"Why not? It's clearly a threat!" Dash protested. Again. "It's darkness. Bad things come out of the darkness. I am therefore attacking the darkness to prevent bad things from coming out of the darkness."

"But then you're not actually attacking the darkness, you're attacking what's in the darkness, which would mean initiative rolls, but there's nothing to attack in the darkness."

"I don't believe you."

"I'm the DM, I built the map!"

"Which is why I don't believe you."

"Guys, can you please come to a compromise before I get a migraine?" Simon asked, exasperated. It wasn't often that he let those two get to him this bad, but it had been a long week - two poltergeists, a child bit by a werecreature, and Marshall's monthly embarrassment to appease the werewolves and the unicorns lest he become the weremarsicorn again. 

"Fine," Marshall capitulated - Simon knew he could get Mars to back down first, just give him the hang dog put upon sidekick look and Mars would get the hint. Usually. "You attack the darkness. With what?"

"Magic Missile, duh!" Dash said. Simon heard the clatter of the die rolling across the table, then Dash swore and Janet laughed harder, which meant it was a crit fail. Shit.

"You hit Quincey, roll damage."

Clatter. Another curse, this time from Janet. "I'm knocked out you asshole!" she shouted.

Simon dropped his arms to the table and laid his head down on them as Janet, Marshall, and Dash started shouting at each other again. Someday, Simon reflected, they'd actually get through a session of this game without it ending in a screaming match. Today, though, he'd just have to tune his friends out and try to catch up on some much needed sleep.


End file.
